With Nishad going off to pre-school in the mornings, I can only reflect upon how fast time has gone by. I am feeling a little sentimental these days. While cleaning out my e-mail, I came across this e-mail I wrote while I was pregnant with Nishad. I hope you enjoy the trip down memory lane- the words of an expectant Mommy that are lined with hope, joy, excitement and love.
With this being Breast Cancer Awareness month- I find it appropriate as well. It’s good to remember…It keeps my Mother’s spirit alive.
Happy Day after Mothers Day!
For those of you that are Mother’s I hope you all enjoyed your Mother’s Day. For those that are not, I hope you enjoyed simply spending time with your Mother’s, or remembering them. This Mother’s Day was my first “Mommy-to-be” status Mother’s Day, as I am carrying a beautiful gift inside of me. There is something so precious about carrying the baby of the man you love inside of you, and knowing that it’s because of this baby, you have an added title…one I feel is the most important one could ever hold; Mother.
In a card I received from Ashish it read, “God created Mother’s because he could not be everywhere.” I think that’s true, in the same sense that he creates teachers. Teacher’s, like Mother’s, watch over, protect, educate, guide, care, are advocates for children and scaffold children from one milestone to another. I’ve also encountered mother’s like my friend Jessica’s Mom, Pat, Kelly’s Mom, Dee and John Krecek’s Mom, Sandy that don’t only look out for the benefit for their child, but have opened up their hearts, and loved other peoples children unconditionally. Not that they ever took my Mother’s place, nor did they ever want that position in my heart, but they certainly took off where my mother left off. Though my Mother is wittiness to everything that occurs in my life, and is with me (as I can feel her presence in all that is beauty and love which surrounds me), I sure am blessed to have these inspirational mother’s in my life.
I also have found a few friends, that God has chosen for me, that are mother’s of some beautiful children; As my mother would say, “A reflection of ones parenting.” Christine, Francesca and Odel have always been a constant steady presence in my life that have always offered what I call unconditional motherly advice, support, and praise.
So many of you are inner-woven into the fabrics of my ideas of what parenting, and being a Mother is all about. I thank you for your continuing example. Your life stories are the stories that lay the foundation for learning and sharing of life. I’m not only glad that I will be a Mother, I’m glad I know so many wonderful Mother’s.
This Mother’s Day was also about healing. It was the first Mother’s Day that I didn’t try to “avoid.” It was the first Mother’s Day that I actually looked at the cards in the store without crying or feeling a loss. In fact, this Mother’s Day, I was able to purchase a few Mother’s Day cards and feel good about doing so. I don’t know why I am suddenly healing, and feeling as though my mother’s presence is stronger than ever in my life after 13 years, but I do feel this. I feel as though she is beaming with pride and joy, as “her baby” prepares to give birth to her own baby. Thirteen years, and yet I can still hear her laugh and smile that lit up a room as if it were yesterday. I thank God that my Mother and I had the strong relationship that we did, as though she and I only had one another for 17 years, some people have their Mother’s around for their entire life time and never come anywhere close to the relationship my Mother and I had. She was at every event I had, we always had a house full of my friends as she loved having them over, she supported not just me, but everyone in plays and at dance, she was my biggest fan and called me she and my father’s love child, because “they were so in love when they had me.”
I know how they must have felt, because that is how I feel with Ashish. I knew that Ashish was going to be the man I married, because he looked at me the same way that my father use to look at my mother. Just enamored, and full of love. For short while, especially those few last months living in Berwyn, I forgot what was important. Ashish was my rock. He reminded me what was important. It’s not the drama, the gossip, or even the daily affairs. It’s the over all scheme of things. Being a good person, having good intentions, and loving so much that your heart overflows with care for all. I hope I can pass these things on to my Baby.
This Mother’s Day I received a dozen (multi-colored) roses from “Baby” and a cared that read that he or she promises to wish me a Happy Mother’s Day in person next year. Yes, you guessed it, Daddy played a part in helping Baby get Mommy the flowers!
Next year, when Baby is here, I’m going to start gardening again (Something, like cooking, I picked up from my Mom!). I use to take care of “her garden” back in Berwyn in honor of her. After some time, I started planting perennials for some people as my Mom did for my brother and I. (A purple climber for me and a bleeding heart for him!) In that garden, to name a few, I planted tiger Lillie’s for Audrey, funky purple spiral butterfly flowers (never knew the name- just knew they were funky-cool!) for Kelly, Tulips for my niece Jessyca (I always remember hiding Easter eggs in the yard for her and stuffing her basket with stuff until it was over-flowing!), purple corn flowers for Ian, gladiolas for John K. and Daisy’s for Jessica. Next year, I will be starting my own garden with Baby. I already know, you will all be included in this one!
Ashish and I have decided to post-pone our house warming until next year, so maybe you will see the garden first hand! Hopefully, I will see you all before at the baby shower that “Auntie Jessica” is hosting! She and I have been collaborating with ideas, and oh, boy (or girl!!), you just wait! haha! I’m so excited!
Ok, my friends! Love to you all. Have a great day.
Beverlee
