I’m in constant amazement at our children, yet I’m not one to constantly praise with “Good Job!” or “YAY!” I would rather ask questions to them about what they do, which usually leads to highly level thinking questions by them. For instance, on a drawing Nishad would make, instead of “What a beautiful picture!” I say something like, “I like the colors you picked. Why did you choose those?” Therefore, I’m not placing value on something that my child just does for the love of it and sheer enjoyment of doing so. You reach a point in life when you realize, you are working for YOU and no one else. If you can’t motivate yourself, no one else will. I know adults that struggle with this concept. It’s my hope for my children to figure that out early on with my guidance.
Do I think they are gifted? Yes. However, I think every child is gifted. It’s just up to us adults to figure out what those gifts are. Do I think Nishad and Tiger are beyond their peers on various levels? Absolutely. I think the majority of children that are not out-sourced for care are. This stems from being a stay-at-home Mom and working with them from the time they were infants. You are your child’s first teacher. I’m so proud that my eldest never learned his colors or words from a DVD or PBS- he learned them from me. I was never so concerned about mastering a repetitive or mundane task like, spelling their name as my eye was always on the bigger, much broader picture. I’m also pretty proud that my children are not “commercial cows.” Meaning that they have no idea who “characters” are like Superheros, etc. Most of that stuff is so violent, and being that it’s on TV it’s not a tangible experience… And we wonder why we have such a desensitized generation? Which, as a stay at home mom, I have more control on what my boys eyes do take in and see.
I am also not one to gage my child’s development with outdated milestone charts either as if I were to refer to those, I’d be filling out MENSA applications. People forget that those milestone charts for development, height, and weight were done more than 30 years ago. Things have changed a bit. As though should…each generation is smarter than the previous.Being involved early on, setting up our household that includes them in ever room and by promoting early independence by making things available for them have allowed them to thrive. Yes, it is work. A lot of it.
Staying at home was also a sacrifice, not only on my “career” but our combined income. It truly is a luxury to be at home these days and I’m fully aware of how blessed we are to live on one income. However, people have forgotten that being a parent means sacrificing. That’s right…putting someone elses needs, like your child, before your own. I do have dear friends that are not stay at home Mom’s, that went to work. Do I love them any less? Of course not. Do I not adore their children? Don’t be silly. I believe, with my heart, that we as parents only do the best we know how or we attempt to do what we think is best for our family.I can tell you that there is never a dull moment in our household- always an eventful day – and I am more busy now than I ever was working full-time, plus school, plus volunteering…all together. My days start early, and last into the wee-hours of the night. It’s then that I think, “How can I fit exercising into my day?” and “Perhaps I can read that article now?”
About a year and a half ago, I opened up my own photography and design business. It’s a business that only grows at a rate in which my children allow it to. It has been great to have something that is “mine.” I also feel blessed with a gift to capture children~ minus the cheesy factor. Maybe it’s my theatre, dance and education background…or a God given instinct combined with experience of knowing just when to “snap” that precious shot.
I feel like we as a family have finally reached a point that I can venture out into these other passions. As both my children are now enrolled in a 3 hour, M-F Montessori School, I have a little time to breathe daily. At least to pause for that cup of coffee and collect my thoughts before I run to pick them up. 🙂
For those Stay at Home Mom’s that think, “Oh my goodness, this will never end” and find yourselves getting lost in the never ending piles of laundry, endless dinners to be prepared and cleaning…I am here to tell you, that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Children grow fast, so fast that you’ll be missing that special time at home as they begin their journey from under your wing. They will always be YOUR baby, just not A baby.
As I stand before a pathway of many differing paths that have led me to this single point of time and place in my life, it is my hope that you too see the plan so carefully laid out for you. For now, know that you are doing the most important “job” in the world. One which many admit they can’t do, or choose not to do… Being a full time Mother to your children is not for the weak at heart. 🙂 Whether you continue to stay at home when your children return to school, or rejoin the work force, remember you already have an edge on your resume that no one can top.
